Finally Mom Will Stop Complaining About Me Needing To Write Something New

Just kidding Mom. But really, there's not too much going on right now. I pretty much talked to everyone over Christmas about the Academy and what not so there's not much to type about. I did have a great time at home over break though. I spent a lot of time sleeping and eating and hanging out with my friends. Mom and Dad both took time of work to spend to home while I was there. That was pretty cool. And I got to see the old pooch for a while. I'm just glad that she's still alive. I think that somehow Kelly has been able to decrease the effective energy she uses and thereby increases here life expectancy exponetionally. I know that's spelled wrong but I don't care for two reasons...1) I'm too lazy to even use spell check 2) My mother is the wonderful Becky Holbrook, so it's part of my genes 3) Spelling well is for losers. Okay, so that was three things but you get my point. So Kelly is a superdog that will live forever. End of story.

Grandma D...thanks for the quarters. I had a big stack of them waiting for me when I got home. Only 10 more states left, correct?

As some of you may or may not know, my mom has becoming a cooking machine in the past few weeks. Everyone knows how much Mom hates things with multiple steps and too many words. Well, it appears that she's hit her stride. She made some really great dinners while I was home (a nice chowder and this pasta/shrimp awesomeness) and she told me she made a soup this week that was really good. Although Mom has yet to advance to SOLID foods (pasta doesn't count...that's more of a non-Newtonian fluid in my eyes) I still have hope that one day, my loving mother will one day make a feast of multiple steps crafted by her lonesome.

I started school his week. It's alright. The first couple days nothing really happens. There's always the "I'm so-and-so. Now please introduce yourself to the class." I hate doing that. Look people, I don't really care who you are unless I have to talk to you at some point in the class. Other than that, I'd rather just sit in the back being anti-social, get my grade, and get home for a break. That's probably not a good thing, but oh well. Some kids smell like cheese...and not the good kind.



My birthday is Saturday. I'll be 20 years old. That's two decades, 1/5 of a century, a score even! So, since I've been on this Earf (notice it's not Earth...I like to talk like Will Smith) I've learned a thing or two. So here they are:

- Spraying a water hose into your parent's car isn't the best idea, but it's pretty sweet non-the-less

- Landing on the ground in a belly flop from the top of a truck is a bad way to learn about gravity

- No matter what happens, a dog WILL poop in room at some point

- Tucked in shirts are pretty much the coolest way to wear any shirt/pant combo

- If you don't want to finish the rest of your hamburger and your mom won't let you leave the table until you're done, ask if you can eat it on the porch...then through it in a bush and wait a few minutes

- Milk really does do a body good

- Jesus probably had a bowl cut becuase, c'mon, it's legit

- Getting a dollar a week for doing chores is great when all you buy is candy and basketball cards

- A snow shovel is the perfect gift

- Men and women can wear the same slippers...they'll fit

- '89 Honda Accords are the new '65 Ford Mustangs

- Basic Training is really quite compicated

- Spelling is WAY overrated

- It has to be 62* before you can wear shorts

- You have to stay in the tub until your fingers are wrinkley

- Just becuase part of the basement isn't finished doesn't mean it's the "old" part when if fact it was build concurrent to the "new" basement area

- Look behind you before you back out of the garage...and close all the doors

- When your car radio came from an old Chrystler minivan, that's pretty ghetto

- If your sisters try to have you eat dog food, don't

- If they try to dress you up in drag, don't

- Short sleeves and a tie are not cool

- Sippin'...Smokin'...Drinkin'...Tokin'

- It's funnier if two of your aunts are not dipicted in your house in any way

- Becuase I'm a sore loser, winner picks up

- Ninja Turtle bed sheets are still the best when you're 20

- My Little Pony was terrible

- But David the Gnome was straight up kickin' it...especially the one when it showed the architecture of the gnomes house inside the tree

- Thanks to Sesame Street, I don't trust people who live in dumpsters

- No one wants to watch you being born

That's about it. Yeah, that was about two. This should tide you vultures over for a while!!!