What Has Happened?

Disclamer: I don't spell check or proofread anymore. You know why? Because. That's why. (I learned that excuse from my beloved mom...and I think Chris and Kesi will find it useful in coming years.)

Seriously, what has the world come to these days? On going war in Iraq and Afghanistan (remember that one?). Global Warming (and Al Bore with an Oscar). ANOTHER Clinton in '08 (God I hope not). Black people riding in the front of buses (just kidding, you're still reading right?). The OC got cancelled. Cheating scandal at the Academy. Massive corporations screwing over their employees. Cindy Sheehan finally realizing she's an inane figurehead being used because she's mildly retard and "resigning" (and did anyone notice that her face looks like an old catchers mit...that's been beaten with a bat, set of fire, and then buried for a few years in a barrel full of spiders? Well, it does). JFK terror plot. al-Sadr. Fort Dix. More global warming.

And then this.

TAKAHERI KOBYASHI HAS LOST HIS HOT DOG EATING CROWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, what is wrong with this world? I don't think I want to live in a world where an old dude from Cali can step up and steal my man's eating crown. C'mon!!! 59.5 HDBs...that's Hot Dogs and Buns for you lame-o's out there. That stomps Koby's recored by just about 6 hot dogs...I think (I'm too lazy to do the math). And it was a white dude as well! I for one am tired of the white man always trying to keep minorities down. This is just another example of the man doing his darndest to make sure the Aryans keep their until supremacy in the New World Order. I think head might explode from the enormity of Tako (as I affectionately call him) losing his mustard colored belt at the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Competition on the 4th o' July, or as the English call it, the day after July 3rd. If he loses, I might poo my britches. To see one of your all time hero's, a giant in a land of midgets, smitten down by the liberal-hippy-pinko-commie-tree hugging-Obama/Hilary loving-hemp tokin'-Joan Biaz listenin'-Prius driving-Gucci wearing-Gun hating-San Fransisco living Californian makes me sick to my stomach...literally. I ate at IHOP this morning and it's destorying my insides right now.

Okay, I think that's enough of a rant. Although I am glad the HDB title is back in the US of A, I'll light a candle for Tako.

In other news:

I'm heading to Dover, Delaware for Ops AF this summer. Should be pretty cool...hopefully I'll get a ride over the Europe for a couple days at some point. That be dirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty. Notice the multitude of "r"'s. That means is cool. After that, I'll be home for a couple weddings, where I'll probably see most of you. Unfortunately, that means I'll have to see Aunt Jill as well, but I guess you can't win them all right? After leave I'm teaching basic cadets how to shoot M-16s. I'm taking donations for a bullet-proof vest now. Thanks for the consideration!

Dan Brown, if you're reading this, I hate you. I wrote a book called "The Dan Brown Code." In it, I uncover clues about how much you suck at life. As it turns out, you suck a lot. Go play in traffic NTAC. Grandma D, don't read this next line...just skip to the next paragraph...for everyone else, NTAC means "no talent ass clown".

Welcome back Grandma D! So, in conclusion, kill yourself Dan Brown...perferable by beating yourself in the head with a copy of your crap-tastic book and accompanying DVD starring a rather greasy looking Tom Skanks. If I could, I'd give that movie 8 thumbs down.

Rachel, have fun making your signs. Sarah, I hope the wedding is going well. Tom, sorry. Josh, umm...huh...are still around? Mom and Dad, I love ya lots and will home pretty soon. Kelly, I know you use the computer and can also read, so I'll see when I get home.

Movie Reviews:

Pirates III - Decent. Kind of long, but Keira Knightley is smokin' hot.

Spidey III - Peter becomes emo. I hate emo. Still alright

Dune - I watched about 30 minutes of this mind-numbingly boring 80's sci-flick crap-tazaganda and wanted to jump out a window onto spikes covered with fire. Possible the worst movie I have ever seen

Mr. Brooks - I haven't seen it, but it's awesome. Trust me.

Are you tired of my mindless babble yet? Good, because I'm tired of writing. That and I can't really thing of anything else to write about.

So long for now. I'll see y'all at some point this summer.

Until then, peace